


The Sorting Hat's Funraising

by ChloboShoka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-25 12:23:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10764198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloboShoka/pseuds/ChloboShoka
Summary: The Sorting Hat raises funds by sorting muggles and non-hogwarts students into houses.





	1. Chapter 1

The Sorting Hat had been doing his job for thousands of years. He showed no signs of retiring soon. Despite all the fancy technology muggles and wizards have nowadays, nothing would be able to replace his great legendary judgement. As Great Britain was coming out of the EU, The Ministry Of Magic's funding was slashed. Students at Hogwarts always had their tuition fees covered by the ministry, but that was about to change unless someone did something about it. The Sorting Hat decided to be that something. He wanted to be a brave Gryffindor, a cunning Slytherin, an intelligent Ravenclaw and a loyal Hufflepuff.

He only had one job and it only happened once a year. That meant he had three-hundred-and-sixty-four days to spend at his own pleasure. He was fed up of gathering dust when he felt that he could have done so much more. He knew that Harry Potter was famous worldwide and he decided a good way to raise funding for the students to charge muggles and squibs to sort them in a house if they were a student at Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat found his job challenging. Every year a plethora of students walk through the doors and wait to hear their fate. Many things were on the line for them; their family reputation and future were at steak. All of them had complex personalities.

Everybody had a little bit of all four houses inside them, but it's the one that strikes the most is what the Sorting Hat is looking for. He has to take many things into consideration? The first is their achievements. Have they done something that made the world tremble or rescued a cat from drowning for example. Another thing was their name? The Sorting Hat did his best to keep up with the family traditions of their house. Thirdly, what do they value. There have been cowardly Gryffindors, dumb Ravenclaws and uninspired Slytherins to name a few. It is what they value that is just as important. And finally, the Sorting Hat takes choices into account. He didn't always agree with their choices, but he always respected them.

And so the Sorting Hat travelled the world and he found himself in unknown territory The tip of him crooked as he bounced his way onto the streets. It was dark so the Sorting Hat blended into the shadows of the night. He spotted a few young people walking down the street. He decided to take a rest. All that they had to do was wear him.

A black and white cat purred before him. He bowed.

"Why hello there," the Sorting Man said like a true gentleman. The cat tried to scratch him and then stormed back under the bin. "There's no need for that," the Sorting Hat lectured. "Why don't you come under here and let me sort you into a house." The cat frowned at him and ran off. "Never mind, I'm sure that there will be somebody to try me on soon."

Walking towards him was a young lady with hair as pink as the cherry blossoms that fall in Spring. Her eyes were a legendary green and her long dress reminded him of a certain house. The Sorting Hat coughed and the lady stopped moving. "Good evening Sakura Haruno," the Sorting Hat said. "I am the Sorting Hat from Hogwarts. I'm raising money for the school funds."

Sakura didn't seem convinced. "How do I not know that you're not a scam."

"Pick me up," the Sorting Hat said, "and you shall see that I am the real deal."

Sakura did as she was told and flowers suddenly emerged from his bottom.

The Sorting Hat saw Sakura gasp in amazement. "Yes, it's very impressive. For a humble sum of 500 yen, I can tell you what Hogwarts House I would have placed you in." Sakura's curiosity got the better of her. She put her coins inside the Sorting Hat and placed him on top of her head.

"Hmm." The Sorting Hat was amazed. "This is a tricky one. Plenty of courage and a very sharp mind. Your ambitions would make you a good Slytherin. Your kindness as a medic would also make you quite a good fit in Hufflepuff too." The Sorting Hat began to shake his head. "But I believe Ravenclaw or Gryffindor would be a better fit for you. Alright! I've made up my mind. If you were a Hogwarts student, then I would have placed you in GRYFFINDOR!"

"Really?" Sakura dropped her mouth and squeed. "That's my favourite house. Thanks a lot."

"Anytime," said the Sorting Hat. "Now, if you can help me find some more customers that would be most appreciated." 


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura had brought the Sorting Hat into a bar with her friends. It was a great honour to be gathered by so many muggles who fought in the fourth Shinobi war. Among those present was their village leader, Naruto Uzumaki who had been granted the honour of being the seventh Hokage. In the 20th century it would have been impossible for the Sorting Hat to chat with muggles. With the increasing amount of half-bloods and pure bloods around. The muggles had known all about the wizarding world and this he had discovered that the muggles had known about the battle at Hogwarts and they do were also celebrating the success of Harry Potter.

The Sorting Mad made an announcement in front of a busy and chatty crowd. "Excuse me everyone," he said. "I am the Sorting Hat from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

A tall man with a black hair and a green suit stood up and sighed in disbelief. The Sorting Hat knew his name like he knew the others. He was Rock Lee. "You mean the school in Great Britain?"

"I do indeed yes," the Sorting Hat responded. "Now as you all know the UK will shortly be leaving the EU. The Ministry of Magic work very closely with the Prime Minister to ensure the safety of students at our school. Unfortunately it seems that funding for the school may be stopped. So if people would like me to sort them into houses then please put 500 yen in my hat, and I will place you into a house."

Rock Lee was the first to cough up. It was clear to The Sorting Hat that he was a big fan of famous wizards such as Merlin, Gandalf and Harry Potter. The Sorting Hat suddenly felt warm. For a muggle, Rock Lee showed some terrific strength. The Sorting Hat was able to read his memories and mind. He envisioned the times where Rock Lee trained under the guidance of Might Guy. "I can feel hot passion flow through your veins," the Sorting Hat commented. "For your dedication, patience and hard-work, you would belong to Hufflepuff."

"Alright!" Rock Lee cried out. "Hufflepuff is awesome."

A blonde lady was the next to put money into the hat. Her name was Ino Yamanaka. The Sorting Hat twitched as he felt the coin slot into his hat. As soon as Ino touched him, the Sorting Hat had already made his mind up. "You're a Ravenclaw for sure. Now is Sasuke Uchiha in the room."

Sakura Uchiha appeared before him and Ino placed the Sorting Hat on him. "Ah, I was right. Throughout your life you have been ambitious. You would be perfect for Slytherin."

Sasuke shook his head. "I relate to Ravenclaw more. I'm not shrew nor cunning."

"In that cause," the Sorting Hat said. "I will respect your wishes and place you in Ravenclaw."

"Now do we have Shikamaru Nara?"

"I'm here." Shikamaru raised his hand. He wore the Sorting Hat like a fashion trend.

"Ravenclaw!"

Shikamaru smirked as he passed the hat on to the large man next to him.

"Oh Choji Akimichi your name is I believe. Now You would enjoy Hufflepuff, it's close to the kitchen. They would enjoy your sensitive spirit."

Naruto Uzumaki, the seventh Hokage placed the Sorting Hat on top of his head. The Sorting Hat grinned. "HA! You're another easy one: Gryffindor!"

Hinata was the next person to sit underneath the sorting hat."Hmm you're a bit more difficult Plenty of courage, loyalty and ambition I see. I think it's safe to rule out Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. You'd make a nice Hufflepuff and a nice Slytherin. Okay then, I would have placed you in Slytherin!" Everyone in the room gasped and stared at the Sorting Hat as if he had made a terrible mistake. The sorting hat shrugged. "Now I know what you're all thinking, why would I put a kind girl like Hinata Uzumaki into Slytherin House. There's no need to place stigma on any house. They're all good in their own way. Slytherin admires successful people. Hinata is a successful person."

The crowd remained silent.

"Still not convinced eh?" Then the Sorting Hat had another though. "Wait... in your lifetime you've shown pure nerve and outstanding courage. Perhaps you would also fit in well with Gryffindor. I'm still convinced you're a Slytherin for your ambitions, resourcefulness and cunning nature. But you would also do well in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. And I see you're wondering what house your beloved cousin Neji would have been placed in?"

Hinata nodded. "I want the same house as him."

"I admit that it would be hard for me to judge as he is no longer here, but judging by your memories of him, he would have been Slytherin."

"Then I'm proud to be a Slytherin."

"That's the spirit!" the Sorting Hat cried out. "Slytherins are a tight community that look after their brotherhood."

The Sorting Hat admitted that he didn't always get it right, but he had fun trying.


End file.
